Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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