I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
