i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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