he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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