I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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