Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD