He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.