Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.