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You work out of a Hotel?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Randomize
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