I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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