Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
