Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
