What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
