I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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