I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
