Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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