How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize