i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize