Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
