she was so not down for the gang bang
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
