I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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