Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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