ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
