My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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