This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
