I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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