Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
