Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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