do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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