So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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