Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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