I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
