I hate all girls vehemently.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
