She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
time to smoke my breakfast
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
NoShamevember. You game?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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