you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
is that a dick in a sweater?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The adults are the big ones right?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
