I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize