I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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