So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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