ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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