You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
