someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
