So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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