Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
