goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
