i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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