i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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