I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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