pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
