Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.

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(214): View more from Texas

And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.

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(626): View more from California

He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.

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(515): View more from Iowa

The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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(417): View more from Missouri

We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.

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