Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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