"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
