Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
