I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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