Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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