Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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