There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
