This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize