Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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