Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
bring money and cleavage
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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