im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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