i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
