It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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