There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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