my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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