hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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