i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
